*Note: I switched my readings for last week and this week in my posts and I really wanted to comment on this one.*
I am not scared of spiders like most people. Or snakes, really. I do sometimes have this recurring nightmare where I am being chased through a Toon Town factory by a gunman, so you can say that aggressive men with guns scare me. But, what scares me more than it probably should is letting people down with my ideas and being wrong.
In Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit: Learn it and Use it for Life, there is a list of the author’s creative fears that tend to be common fears that inhibit ideation in other people. The fears are as follows:
- People will laugh at me.
- Someone has done it before.
- I have nothing to say.
- I will upset someone I love.
- Once executed, the idea will never be as good as it is in my mind.
When it comes to the first one, I feel like I have learned to laugh at myself to a certain degree. I do ridiculous things all the time, or I might sputter dumb things and ideas, but I usually just end up giggling. The only times I have really let the idea of people laughing at me get under my skin is when people are laughing and making fun of me in a way that is to demean my ability to create ideas as a woman/short person/journalist/some other silly identifier. Even if I get upset because of that, I have learned to channel those feelings (eventually) into proving people I am more than capable with my ideas.
Number 2 is never a huge worry for me because I study fashion and I know how trends and ideas are recycled all the time. Number 3 is usually not a huge worry either because I tend to have something to say. I worry more about my ability to say an idea of my own because I am so much better at saying things to build off of ideas or direct the brainstorming discussion, which are both still important.
Number 4 hits at what I meant about letting people down. I am a perfectionist and I worry about making everything I do the best that it can be because I am afraid that my parents will look down on me if I don’t. But, when it comes down to it, they tend to think more highly of my work than I ever do. The person that I love that I am probably the most afraid to upset is myself. It’s a weird cycle that way and that prohibits my confidence with my creativity the most.
With that whole perfectionism thing, number 5 is sort of a worry, but not always because sometimes I work out all the kinks in my mind before I execute it so I know it will be exactly what I want it to be. When things haven’t worked out for me, I usually resort to my all-too-familiar giggle tactic and adjust it as I see fit.
This reading really reminded me how you can’t let fear hold you back from letting an idea hit the wall. You never know what might stick unless you try and people aren’t always as awful as you think.